At the moment, I’m talking to some of my friends from secondary school. And it’s crazy. We do this once in a while and its really fun when we all reminisce and catch up with each other and tuff. I love Skype…
A friend of mine (shoutout to Jire) and I spend quite a few of our conversations pondering on our faith and the right things to do as christians. After some discussion, watching some videos and even more discussions, I recently came to the conclusion that I need to take my faith more seriously. Why, you ask? (Even if you didn’t as, I’m telling you).
The way I understand it now, real christianity can’t be taken lightly. You either commit or you don’t. Its not a social club or some sort of gang. If you want to do it right…. well, lets just say there’s work involved.
I just realised that for me, it meant I had to talk about it more and not shy away from those hard questions… What hard questions you may wonder… Questions like this one?
Does everyone who doesnt believe in and accept Jesus go to hell?
May I just say, that the easy way out …. waffling, an obscure, random quote, a mumbled i’m not sure…. doesn’t really cut it. You either believe the bible absolutely and answer based on what it says, or prescribe to something -ism.
The moral of this “story” is that I now understand a bit better, what is expected of me. Its my job to tell. Not convert or save. They make a decision, and JESUS saves. My job is to tell the truth. And that isnt always cool… and I’m now cool with that.
I just read something where someone said human and animal life are equal….. Please, please, please, don’t let me catch you “in the public”. I will beat you and go to jail (I have a marroon passport and will not be deported, so when I come out, I will hunt you down). Love your animals. Take care of them. Let them lick you in unmentionable places, eat from your plate and decide who you can date. Dont tell me we are the same. I will have a big fat problem with you. The type of problem you don’t want to have with a black teenoman (teenage woman).
This is another fablog! Basically, I’ve tried very hard to emulate the geeky look while looking cool….. First of all, that look cannot be pullled off by everybody, and most of the combinations look better in theory than in practice
! But anyway, I decided to try my hand at another theoretical look, and heres what I came up with!
As I’ve said before, I’m a Christian, and it’s hard, but that’s what I try to make the centre of my life. Sometimes I go for days without praying or reading my bible. I don’t talk about him as much as I should or talk to him as much as I should. So I’m writing a letter. It’s private but it’s public, because I know some people feel the same way sometimes and I just wanted to talk about it anyhow…..
Hi Big Guy….
It’s been a while since we’ve spoken and the reasons why are unnecessary. They are mostly puny, and sound even more stupid than they actually are coming out of my mouth. I’ll just apologize. I’ve taken you for granted. I’ve opened myself up to danger and heartache by trying to deal with everything and asking just my friends and family for help. I’m wrong and once again, humbly ask for your forgiveness.
As you know, university is not easy. I’ve made some amazing friends… some Christian and some not. For the Christian ones, thank you for sending them my way. Its nice to have people I can ask questions and discuss and pray with. For the non Christian ones… you know how to handle it better than I can. Help me not let my pride, stupidity, fear, lack of understanding, or religious tendencies get in the way of talking about you. I’ve let it happen before and really don’t want to screw up anytime soon so please take control!
The family is great, for which I have you to thank. Our health and happiness has a lot less to do with us than we could ever
imagine, so thank you. Thank you very much… Words are not enough
I still haven’t settled properly but so far it’s been good. There are times when I get really confused and don’t know what to do, but I leave it all in your hands…
Sometimes, I think about my future and start to get scared and worry… Who I’ll end up with, or if Ill end up with anybody at all, whether Ill fulfill my goals and dreams, what I will become… Then I remember that you are in control, and I calm down once again.
I really can’t wait to be with you properly, to hear you call my name. Not the name my parents gave me, but the one tattooed on the palm of your hand. The one only you know, and that I share with no other. Go skating on streets of gold and surfing without fear. I really can’t wait to finally defy gravity, and feel no pain or fear. For my lips to be filled with praise and my heart to be filled with gratitude and joy. To dance with you and for you, have parties where we laugh together and smile with everyone. To meet Adam, Eve, my great, great, great grand children and everyone else in between. To be still in your presence and kiss the hands and feet of the one who was bruised for my transgressions.
I’ve missed talking to you and just decided to write you this letter. I already know you love me, but I forget sometimes. Thank you
for taking care of me. I love you and will talk to you soon…er
I wrote this bloggit while in bed, enjoying the feeling of the weekend, and trying to delay myself from facing the school work I have to do (If anyone reads this post early enough and is interested in doing my statistics assignment for me, please feel free to get in touch).
Rather than just focus on one particular category of people, I’ll just address us all!
Here’s to the single girls (My category)…………
As all the couples around you act like there is no tomorrow, expressing love in sane and insane ways, keep your cool. Now would
not be a good time to loudly state divorce rates or start screaming in public the disturbing facts you memorized concerning sexual diseases and how quickly they spread. You’re single, not diseased, and there’s nothing wrong with you. Please don’t give people a reason to further stress/ throw up half assed theories about how singledom affects the well being of females (especially mental). If Valentine’s Day rolls around and you have no one to spend it with, stop moaning/ regretting breaking up with an ex that was toxic/ attempting to wreck it for other people. Don’t start psych evaluating yourself and looking for ways in which you can self improve, neither should you swear up and down till you’re blue in the face about definitely being with somebody next year. Eat good food, (lest you worry about emotional eating, I LOVE food in general, holidays just means no one can wrinkle their noses in disgust), hang out with your friends, watch your favourite TV shows, GET SOME WORK DONE, and do whatever else makes you happy (don’t hurt anybody please, yourself included). Enjoy yourself and stop making yourself feel bad.
Here’s to the girls in relationships (both happy and unhappy)………..
If you’re unhappy, all I can say is sorry. I’m not Oprah, Dr Phil or Jerry Springer, so I don’t know how to help you. I’m trying to be less judgmental so I won’t preach at you. Do what you feel you have to do, and when all else fails (which it will eventually), go to Jesus (he’s a cool guy, if you haven’t met him yet, I assure you you’ll like him, if you do, go and say hi).
If you’re happy, stop feeling guilty about it. If you’re involved in public displays of affection. Embrace Valentine’s Day, if you’re not, embrace it. If you and your other half enjoy being showy, enjoy it, if you’re not and you guys have pledged to ignore Valentine’s Day, good for you. Either way, whatever subset you belong to, its fine. Don’t feel bad when your friends tease you and don’t shy away from what you would do normally because of your friends’ discomfort/snide remarks. You don’t have to justify your happiness in a relationship. Just don’t forget to save some loving for the rest of us.
Here’s to the guys…………
For most of you, Valentine’s Day is unnecessary pressure and one of those things that makes you wonder why you still bother. This is the time those vultures start circling; that girl that said you “weren’t her type” now suddenly seems avidly interested, and that wicked one that keeps sending you mixed messages seems to think that Valentine’s Day is some sort of mega test. Umm, good luck, whatever happens, I assure you, it will be incredibly memorable. I hope you make the right decision.
The small proportion of you guys who look forward to it, well I hope you enjoy it. Hope that girl is worth whatever trouble you go through and your day is memorable for good reasons.
To anyone I’ve missed out…. Umm I’m sorry! Either way, Happy Valentine’s Day everybody!
Please leave comments and let me know what you think!
p.s If anyone has any vague interest in sending me a present out of the goodness of their hearts. Get in touch, I’ll give you details.
Writing this blogpost is a break from writing a philosophy essay on the moral status of animals. As interesting as it is, I found myself wondering once again, why I am in tertiary education. *sigh*
Basically, this post is direct towards my fellow Nigerians and anyone who finds themselves interested in the well being of their country and their future. At the moment, we are on the threshold of our main political elections, and over the next couple of weeks, we will be making decisions as to who will be placed on the seats of power and will run our nation and lives for the next 4 years.
Let me begin by saying that at best, Nigeria is a mess. A foul, disorganized mess on so many different frontiers, it’s depressing to think about and even harder to discuss. It is by re–emphasizing the dire straits we are in as a nation I hope to get people to understand the importance of voting with an unbiased mind and with a strategy.
Although at the moment and for the past two years, I have studied abroad, I am aware of the fallacy that is the Nigerian Education System. 98% of the nation’s schoolchildren failed NECO English and Mathematics, meaning that 98% of the upcoming workforce lack basic numeracy and language skills. That 2% includes public and private school students as well as students retaking these exams. About 80% of university graduates can’t find jobs after they graduate, and of the measly 20% who do, most are underemployed (their jobs don’t actualize their full capacity). We have several “authorities” whose titles claim that they are paid to watch over and work to progress the educational system of the nation. So can these authorities explain to Nigerians why the syllabuses for education systems haven’t changed in more than 9 years, why the textbooks have remained the same and why teachers don’t have constant training? While they are at it, it would be nice if they could also explain why our graduates are now considered substandard in most parts of the world, and most importantly, what they have been doing with the funds the government has been allocating towards education over the past two decades (that’s the approximate time the education system began to spiral downwards).
There is little or no public healthcare In Nigeria. Those too poor to afford the overpriced cost of healthcare, are largely dependent on the “advice” of friends, Good Samaritan doctors and miracles. Health insurance is a mystery and the quality of public hospitals in many parts of the nation is disgustingly poor. It is still considered a miracle if a woman in a hospital, survives childbirth, as our nation has one of the highest pregnancy mortality rates in the world. Not in Africa, the world. We also happen to have a high infant mortality and a life expectancy of 43. We still have children dying of malaria, diarrhea and diseases that cost less than a pound (250 naira) to cure. There is still a high rate of water borne and air borne diseases, while several people suffer from malnutrition and borderline depression.
Our economic infrastructure is pitiful. Both the skilled and unskilled workforces find themselves searching for work with little or no avail. The national GDP is an embarrassment to even mention and 98% of Nigerians live in poverty. Our stock market, banking systems and income distribution are disgustingly shaky and unreliable. Our currency’s value has not been stable since the 70’s and our reliance on oil has left other markets vulnerable and suffering. Although I don’t know much about it, I am sure that even with my lack of expertise, my evaluation is correct, we have issues.
Have I mentioned what a joke our defense is? We apparently have a Secret Service, but from what I see, they don’t function. Our servicemen are underpaid and undertrained, unable to compete with their peers around the world. The forces (policemen, military men) have lost respect with the people and have little or nothing left to be proud of. I really don’t understand how with this around you, we can in this day and age attempt to justify the nonsense that occurs in our halls of power.
What are the criteria we use when we choose our leaders? The old excuse are no longer useful … “He’s from my village”, “I know his cousin”, “Last year he went to camp”, “He’s practises my religion”, “Last year he attended a forum my University put up”…… Enough is enough of all the rubbish and nonsense we have allowed continue. Now, what we have is a corrupted, oozing abscess threatening to implode. How educated or clueless are your leaders, if as an attempt to sort out the crisis in the Niger Delta (bombings, kidnappings, fighting and looting), the government puts up a beauty pageant. Please start asking the important questions, and demand answers…..
• What are your plans for healthcare/ education/ tourism/ infrastructure/job security/ financial security/ national defense/ the justice system/ sports?
• Since you came into office xyz years ago as a councilor/senator/governor/deputy/ whatever post you have attained, what has your track record been?
• Can you give an account of what the budget approved by the House of Senate was used for?
• What are your qualifications in terms of experience, education etc do you have?
I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of hearing about my country in a negative light. I’m tired of having my country run by self righteous, uneducated, illiterate thieves passing themselves off as dignitaries and leaders while being applauded for their wrongdoing. We are a democracy, and need to take back the authority that’s rightfully ours and make the right decision.
Some of you may have seen these before, but for some reason I can’t find them anywhere on my blog anymore. Lasy year, my friend sent me these really romantic poems (not that he wrote them for me … I wish….) he wrote and I loved them and decided to blog them, and now I’m “reblogging them. They are really cute and I hope you guys like them.
“When people ask me ‘how are you?’ My response is always ‘I’m fine thanks’
But you know me better than that
You see the pain in my eyes
You know when I want to be left alone
You bear with my very funny but stupid jokes
You even tolerate my mood swings
You are more than a friend
You are my best friend, scratch that you are more like a sister,
I don’t say this often but I love and appreciate you and will keep doing so forever
You have probably been told something like this before
But I couldn’t restrain from using it and I promise to use it no more
Roses may be read and granted violets are blue
These facts are true and everlasting like love I have for you
I used to think nothing lasts forever
I was always told that everything has a beginning, middle and end
These philosophies applied to me until the moment I met you
The beginning= The first time I saw you(it may be cliché but) it was love at first sight
The Middle= Our relationship started and the love grew
The End= This is where the philosophy fails as the love I have for you is and will be forever present and infinite…
Aren’t they so cute!!
The guy who wrote them is on twitter @freddieoduks and he’s a good laugh and an amazing friend. Thank you Folajimi
As you know, my blog is filled with the stuff I love. Food is one of my passions. So from now on, I’ll be putting up recipes of food I enjoy or think would be nice to try.
Also, for any of you who may have a soft spot for desserts. This blog has the most amazing pictures.. There are also some other err, umm, photos of a somewhat compromising nature, but for the most part, the desserts are scrumptious…
2 cups all-purpose flour 1 tablespoon baking powder 1 teaspoon salt 3 tablespoons white sugar 4 egg yolks 3 egg whites 1 3/4 cups milk 1/2 cup vegetable oil
Sift the flour, baking powder, salt, and sugar – all the dry ingredients – together in a large mixing bowl. Next we go to the wet ingredients.
Take a separate bowl and whisk together the egg yolks, milk, and oil.
Make a well in the center of the flour mixture and pour the liquid ingredients into it.
Use a large spoon or mixer to mix the wet and dry ingredients until you get a moist mixture (stop when the dry ingredients are moistened).
Take a small bowl and beat egg whites until stiff.
Take the egg whites and gently fold them into the batter, mix a little but not too much since you will destroy the delicate egg whites that make this waffle recipe so fluffy.
The waffle batter is done. Now just pour it onto hot waffle iron and cook until done. This usually takes a few minutes, a good sign that the waffes are done is when the steam stops coming out of the waffle maker.
You could try this out with melted chocolate. jam, syrup, honey, sprinkled castor sugar, ice cream or whipped cream… any combination would work just as well….
My cousin has been staying over for a while, and really she is more like a sister… We fight and have those few differences of opinion at times, but for the most part, it’s a lot of fun.
Anyhow, we have many interesting and funny conversations, some of which have inspired the bloggeress in me!
Basically, we were speaking about the whole role model issue and how parents have let celebrities of all kinds dictate their children’s behaviour. It’s a really weird phenomenon that I believe has helped in the further degradation of the world as we know it!
What would possess you to let someone who might as well be a phantom (considereing the fact that most of what we know about celebrities is either assumed or fiction) dictate your child’s dress sense, behavioural patterns, value systems and beliefs. I found it really strange and irresponsible of grown individuals to complain about Miley Cyrus’ recent dressing, not because they worried about her as a person, but because it gave their kids the wrong message. Since when did a 17 year old Disney actress/singer aid parents in the rearing of their teenager? Even though the media portrays certain images and systems, that should be the least of their problems. I would be more worried, that Ive been so absent in the mental rearing of my kid that he or she looks up to someone else for direction. More often than not, the idea just makes me laugh. A parent is just that, a parent. You raise and lead your child, instructing, loving and directing them in the ways you see fit. A role model is just that, a role model. An aspect of a role models life is seen to be impressive enough for others to try and pattern parts of their lives after. Once you start confusing both roles, you are in for a whole lot of problems. One of my friends was complaining to her mum that about needing to get a tattoo like one of her favourite celebrities and I loved her mum’s response. She goes, “first of all, my house, my rules, if you feel like you are being treated unfairly, write a letter, secondly, that lady has her own life and belief systems, I understand you like her and all, but are you a zombie? If she decides to blow up her head tomorrow would you do the same?” I had to laugh when she told me.
What do you guys think? Am I being overly dramatic or insensible?
Of the few pleasures life has given females, I believe one of them is other females who provide you with genuine friendship. Please don’t start semi silently murmuring and ranting about how females are bitchy, wicked, rude, manipulative, gossipy, two faced, and uncaring, cold things. Puhlease! I know that there are these species out there but come on! There is nothing like having real girlfriends that are there for you truly! Anyhowwwwwwwwwwwwww, I just felt the urge to write out this list because university is looming and I’m not going to be in as close contact with some of my favorite girls (insert sad smiley here) and just happened to start reminiscing about those lovely days and times spent together.
• Watch movies together: It’s like the sacred rule of girlfriendom. You just have to watch movies together. I’m a sop basket so I always vote for comedies, romantics and romantic comedies! There’s a lot that’s better than this, but in all honesty, I love it! Seriously, what’s not to love about a movie gathering?
There’s the debate about what to watch, then the glorious food (I always have some sweets and a large popcorn with a drink, you know, regular cinema stuff), and finally, there’s the rehashing of the movie; the hotness of the actors, the annoying hotness of those thin, svelte actresses with perfection all over them (eww and double eww). The absurdity and development of the plot, the annoying parts, the cool parts, the nice outfits, the nasty feet and blah di blah di blah! Beyond and above everything, it gives you something to talk about. The point is you are doing something together! Some of my favorite movie memories occurred with my girls (I feel all so mature using the term my girls, I know its juvenile but it’s one of those things that makes me feel oh, so cool).
• Go Shopping: It doesn’t matter what type of shopping it is; food shopping, clothes shopping, furniture shopping est. The benefits are endless. No matter how amazing your sense of style, its nice to have a sec
ond opinion, whether or not that opinion agrees with you. It helps time fly by and in the case where you have to get that last minute outfit urgently, give your girls the specifics of what you want, and then, divide and conquer. If you happen to be like me, and dread outfit shopping (note, I dislike the process of having to try on these clothes, I however as a general rule, tend to like the end products of my hours of pavement pounding)it makes the time fly by and most times, keeps you in a great mood!
• Eat: Be it at a group of you at a restaurant, a one on one at a café, a bunch of you ordering takeou
t or a home cooked meal shared with a few, it’s nice eating with friends. I like eating in general, so this particular activity is very dear to my heart! It’s usually with friends that I discover some of the best meals I’ve ever had. A friend of mine and I discovered the joy of Garfunkel’s barbecued burger together, while another introduced me to Hummingbird Bakery (from which I have never recovered).I even have a friend I considered my eating buddy. During my A Levels, we entertained each other by ordering pizza and Chinese to reward or uplift ourselves, a phenomenon that manifested itself in our expanding waistlines and/or larger body parts! Go out and eat on birthdays, anniversaries, graduation, meet ups and my favorite reason; for no one at all, except enjoying each other’s company.
• Go On Holiday: If you’ve ever been on a school excursion over an extended period of time, its easy to realize the endless fun it is travelling with a bunch of friends(ok maybe not endless but it really is bags of fun). It doesn’t have to
be expensive relay, Go away on a weekend to another state, the closest country that’s safe, fun but relatively inexpensive. Look for deals on everything from flights to meals. Take buses and trains if taxis are really expensive, find out the shopping costs, discount flights, discount hotels/motels/inns/bed and breakfast est. And when you guys do travel, don’t just stay in your abodes sleeping and whiling away time! Its not a honeymoon. Go out and experience culture (By that I don’t mean just hopping from one club to the next); sample local foods, take pictures, visit museums, art fairs and the local theatre. You don’t have to do everything together, but make the most of all the experiences you’ve had.
• Have A Night Out: Need I say more? Enjoy the process of meeting up somewhere to get ready together.
It’s all fun… for the most part. Taking turns in the shower, getting your hair done, your make up done, getting 2nd, 3rd, 4th opinions on outfits, getting even more opinions on the shoes, bundling into your mode of transportation and zooming off for dinner, dancing, carnivals, whatever! Just writing about it gets me excited!
• Celebrate The Little Victories: Someone gets a coveted internship, a job they wanted, a prize for something, a
commendation or a prize signifying achievement. It doesn’t always have to be a birthday, an anniversary, Christmas or New Year to celebrate, and you don’t have to go all out. Each person is asked to bring something, and meet somewhere and be happy for each other. In sisterhoods, if one wins, all win, so cheer each other on!
• Cry/Grieve: If there’s a universal gift females have, it is one of bearing each others’ burdens!
A problem shared lightens the load. Sometimes it makes me feel better when I talk over my problem with a friend. Yes I know, some things are private and not to be shared with anyone except God, but those that can be, should be. It only strengthens the bond.
• Be Silly: I cannot count the number of silly videos, photos and antics my friends and I have gotten up to! If you have to fake it with your inner circle of female friends, then my dear, life for you, might just be way too superficial and sad to be true. What hasn’t been done amongst my friends? Barfing, farting, kicking, play fighting, wedgey unplucking, terribly sung karaoke, musical statues, dancing, laughing, group singing, water fights etc! It’s better than your average stress reliever, believe me you!
Sometimes it’s easier to take a class with more than moral support. If a member or members of the sisterhood are with you every step of the way, going through similar struggles and having to learn with you, then life is made so much easier for you! It doesn’t matter what it is; an IT class, a cookery course, baking lessons, joining a book club, drama, Lamaze, aerobics, Pilates, whatever… Just enjoy expanding your mind with each other!
• Pray: Meditate, study your holy book and pray with each other Although not all your friends may be of the
same faith as you, its highly beneficial to find those members of the sisterhood who are and make it a point to pray together (it could be prayers of thanksgiving, petition, forgiveness, whatever you guys want). Like they say, the family that prays together, stays together!
• Gist: Need I say more?
Have A Sleepover: Sleepovers kill several birds with one stone. It brings people together, you guys cook together or order food in (the main point is that you eat), there’s a lot of foolwangery that goes on (you are very, very silly), you gist, and 9 times out of 10, a movie is watched! This habit of sleepovers is one that is imbibed in females, when we are little, so it only makes sense to follow up with these rights when old(er), don’t you think?
There’s obviously loads of stuff I’ve missed out, but these are my favorite things to do with my girls and I just had to talk about it!
Basically, the topic of this little rant/rave/writ up/bloggit (another word I made up, which makes a blog post in joleese (Jola’s language)) is a result of a recent discovery I made.. Human beings lie (en masse, might I add). Oh, you may laugh now and say to yourself “duh” in that sarcastic manner, with that unnecessarily smug look on your face, but wait till you hear what I have to say, and maybe, just maybe, your life will change!
As some of you guys know, I started university (Durham) at the beginning of the Month. Now, having heard (and stupidly believed) some rumors of first year at university, I was happy. I thought to myself, “hallelujah! After the hell of A levels, I just might get to relax a little”. That was till I realized that EVERYTHING is on you. That means you get your own textbooks, sort out your own
timetable, find your way around the lecture halls, sort out eating (if you are self catered, that means you need to also slot into that timetable your meals) and a million other things. It’s hard enough if you are doing a single honors course, but if you’re doing combined an honor, that’s even worse. I’m doing PPE (Philosophy, Politics and Economics) and find that I have all this “recommended” reading to do, there are textbooks (several as a matter of fact, a number of them are heavy, some are expensive and most have disgustingly annoying complicated grammar sprinkled all over) and journals and published papers. I have a couple of coursework length essays due before Christmastime and a couple of tests to look forward to. When I had my first panic attack over this mess, a friend I had just met told me to “chill out, like seriously, the first year of university doesn’t count anyway”. Ummmm, well…
a) I’m African: that means that every little thing counts. Laziness evokes very strong negative emotions from both parents that I’d like to avoid. Besides my pocket money, comfort and general well being rely on daddy being happy. Good results = daddy happy!
b) I intend to get a nice summer/Easter job… if I’ve done a lovely job of failing the past year, in this economy, no one will employ me.
c) Play now, cry later; first year sets the foundation for the harder stuff. If I don’t learn what I need to now, I’m screwed the next couple years!
By the time I realized all of this, something came to mind; how so many people can give you an impression of something and then, you experience it, and find out that for you, it’s absolutely different. It happens a lot. You can be given an impression about anything; food, what your first relationship will be like, clothes, the opposite sex, a particular belief, individuals from a particular tribe, a brand of music, a type of hairstyle even! I’m not saying you shouldn’t listen to advice, or that you should try stupid stunts like drinking poison, or join a cult …. But as I’ve learnt, don’t knock it till you try it. I realized recently that I like some things I wouldn’t have tried if I had listened to too many public opinions. You might find that for you, its the same thing!
Anyway, till soonest
Ps: Your personal opinions as per usual… comments/agreements/disagreements etc
One of my great passions is clothes. I kind of enjoy shopping, but being a creature of comfort, I dislike the hassle of having to try on everything and then changing back and …… you get the drift, I’m not by any means claiming to be a fashionista, but I do get things right from time to time…
I was watching the style network a while back, and garnered these words of wisdom from Michael Kors; “That dress is fabulous isn’t a compliment, the greatest compliment is that you look fabulous!” In other words, your outfit should never wear you. If you ever get lost or hidden in a dress, or shoes or anything, think again!
Anyway, from time to time, I hope to average once a week, I’ll put together an outfit I think would look really nice! Open to comments and ideas…
By the way, and this is a serious by the way, two of the blogs I subscribe to that are genius when it comes to fashion… which I think you should have a look at (the photography is also fantastic) are….
I knew both these lovelies in high school (yikes, age is creeping up on me, I’m speaking high school in past tense) and I do ask their advice from time to time. Hopefully, they’ll soon guestblog or interview on jaysperspective…
I get the impression, that the most important decisions in the business world, are made beforehand… not at the business meeting in the boardroom with all those papers and charts and all of that. Say I was a writer, considering a book deal with a publishing company, what would I wear to that brunch meeting where I dont want to look to eager but sort of cool enough ?
French Connection Mariells Jersey Top
Miss Selfridge, Mid Wash Skinny Jeans
Red Herring Grey Satin Crystal Drop Platforms
I actually like it! Pretty good for my first try dont you think! I was thinking; maybe chunky silverish jewelry, understated nude makeup and a champagne coloured oversized clutch…..
Yesterday in church, I heard something that resonated with me on many different levels. Yesterday, daddy dearest didn’t preach (Oh yes, I am a PK, PK meaning Preachers Kid) and we had a guest preacher instead and he spoke on attitude. The main point of his message was that when you are going through hard times/tribulations and problems, what are you like. Is your heart and attitude the type that makes God glad or are you quick to change based on your circumstance? He said that it is in those tougher times you should maintain the best of behaviours. You should pray harder than the regular, worship regardless of the situation and keep your attitude pleasant. For me, it made me think of the way I act when times get rough; when school seems harder/I have problems with my friends/my family is having hard times or things don’t g my way. It made me determined to act in a way that would make God look down from heaven and smile down at me and say “this is my daughter in whom I am well pleased”.
Anyhow, I just felt that I had to share what I heard today that blessed me…
I hope you had a great day today and have a wonderful week ahead!
I’m so sorry I haven’t blogged in such a long time… The reasons are a combination of laziness, lack of inspiration and internet so slow, it’s more fascinating to watch paint dry!!
Anyway, I’m back, so let’s get down to it, shall we??
Sometimes, when people quote sayings or give nuggets of wisdom, rather than inspire you, they get you annoyed.
That is until you have to learn from them, which in my case, happened very recently. I learnt that anger and lashing out really does nobody good and harms you more than others
Yesterday, my mum and I had a mini argument and I realised it could have been avoided if I had just attempted to reason and act like a human being. Basically, I was annoyed because I couldn’t find anything in my wardrobe I would have liked to wear. When my mum then asked me what was wrong, I went on an unnecessarily foolish rant, going on about how bored I was, how I had plans for the holiday and so far not many have happened the way I planned and on and on. I then got the dissing of my life which ended up with me in my bedroom sulking and feeling unnecessarily sorry for myself!
I realised later on, when I calmed down, that my behaviour was erratic, spoilt and totally unnecessary. It made me realise that when you let a situation get the better of you, you end up acting like a twit really! I’ve decided that from now on, I might as well just breathe, refocus and plan. It saves a lot of time, energy and emotion and in my case, the possibility of a serious tongue-lashing from Mrs Ayeye!!!!
Now, I just got back from Barbados where I was on holiday with a couple of friends and as usual, I was reflecting. This time I was thinking of friendships and what really counts when you have a friendship and what keeps it lasting. For me, this is even more important because I am terrible at keeping in touch and all that kind of stuff. But for some reason, with my real friends, it doesn’t matter anyhow. (By the way, I’ll put in some of my friends names in here so just go with the flow ok……)
Now here are some things I think matter/I think people ought to know about friendship
Time doesn’t mean that much. Well, obviously, some people believe that you don’t really know each other unless you have been friends for years. Well, I tend to disagree. Over the past two years, I have made some amazing friends and we have become very very close. Our parents have met and we share everything with each other. Some people I’ve known since I was little are now strangers. Our values, belief systems, attitudes, evrything are different and irreconcilable! As far as I know, that time concept is a joke!!
Age is irrelevant. As far as I’m concerned, as long as there is respect between friends, it’s all good. One of my really good
friends, Zainab is about 2 years younger than I am, but we get along great, no, we get along fabulous. Because she is mentally mature and we have similar values, age doesn’t come into it at all. Funny enough, she advices me regularly, and it is sound advice that sometimes prevents me from doing stupid things and for that I love her to bits.
Respect is key. For me, the quickest ways to end a friendship are disrespect, dishonesty and jealousy. Even with some of my friends that I’m as thick as thieves with like Anjola and Ife, there is a fine line we don’t cross. Not because we are scared or don’t want to offend, but simply because it’s respectful. We know how to talk to and about each other. It’s just what real friends do, no matter how close you get or how mentally intertwined you guys are, if someone lacks respect, sooner or later, something will change! Don’t say I didnt warn you.
Actually being you. I know at this point some people will be like GOH…. But Im being honest. Sometimes, in a bid to impress a new friend, you put on a front or an act. I really can’t do that and don’t understand why people do. If you have to be someone else to impress a new friend then as far as I’m concerned, that is a doomed relationship. Now I don’t mean changing bad habits, but I mean your actual personality. If you don’t want to get to know me, then o well, there are 6 billion or so other humans left walking the world… Happy friend shopping!
Wanting the best for you friend. Every time I think of my friends’ future, I always want the best of them, regardless of where I am and what I’m doing. I always hope Moe will be the athlete she desires or Zainab to hit the runway and stage and dazzle everyone. I want Anjola to be on the New York Times bestsellers list and see Omolola’s designs in New York Fashion Week. Because the bible tells me what love is (patient, kind, wishes the best for others etc), I want it for all my friends. Instead of getting jealous, I get excited. If you have a so called friend who makes snide/hurtful comments when you talk about your achievements or never asks or cares about how you are, its best you re-evaluate what you are in it for.
My friendships have all been beneficial. These people have taught me how to love and have loved me in return. They inspire me to laugh harder, love longer, work harder and act better. I love them and they love me and as far as they are concerned, they are family!
I think one of the questions I must have chewed out with a couple of friends of mine, is the reason women find themselves attracted to bad boys. Maybe I am a mutant or I missed this rampant gene but I really don’t get it. Why would you willingly, get involved with someone you know …
a) Has a very bad track record with women.. he has never, as far as you know been faithful or honest and does not seem to be interested in starting with you
b) Does not treat you well… He is rude/obnoxious, always tardy, lies in your face, embarrasses you publicly and then trivialises it later, causes trouble when it comes to your other friends
c) Does not act proud of you in public or private…
d) Does not take the time… common phone calls, texting, bbming etc is too much to ask
Now, because I’m a weirdo like that, I had to find answers. Now please, please, please, I’m not claiming to be a psychologist, but I came up with a couple of answers that seemed to fit the bill of the reason why we are attracted to these (despicable) beings
Most women have a thing for lost causes, and these boys appeal to them. Somewhere in our mind, we want to be the woman who redeems our lost hero from the fatal grips of foolishness, whoremongering and wickedness. This idea is almost painfully ridiculous, and it probably stems from tales like beauty and the beast and the likes, where the fragile/sweet/unspoiled belle saves and transforms the beast to a prince. My friend you better wake up and dig your head out of those lying fairytales! In reality, that guy will break your spirit. In an attempt to change him, , you become cynical and the recipient of a million I told You so’s! Why disturb yourself
Safe is boring! Congratulations, I have a remedy for you if you don’t like safety. It’s called extreme sports! Bungee jumping, rock climbing, sky diving and death racing will cure you sharply of your safety disorder! I understand that you don’t want monotony, but all I’m saying is cut your coat according to your size! Realistically, there are nice guys out there that keep it funky fresh minus the heartbreak. I promise!
Desperation. Why settle for less because you feel lonely? I know it’s a highly inaccurate explanation, but if you have a headache do you go curing yourself of diarrhoea? If you are lonely, occupy your mind with other things. Everyone has a hobby, no hobbies. Keep yourself occupied so you don’t keep thinking about how lonely and single you are. Stop calling those friends who are in relationships and keep going on about it with no regards to how it affects you! Have all girls nights with close single friends, and for goodness sakes, stop reminiscing on all those lovely times with your ex boyfriend… you guys broke up for a reason!!
Some girls like this feeling of me and my boo against the world! I am sorry to explain to you, that at this point, its more like YOYO (you are on your own). Fire and gas don’t go well together and no one wants to be there to feel the after effects and get burned. Please open your eyes and act right!
Opposites attract! It’s true… All I can actually say is that not all things that are attracted to each other are supposed to be. You need to be discerning and understand that not everything is fate. Watch yourself before you wreck yourself!
Now Ive put that out there, please do not slander my name and claim I told you to go date a moron! Be wise about it!
Hi everyone! This issue is one I have pondered on for a while and will keep on revisiting till…. i don’t know! As usual, enjoy and give feedback!
Male or female, all of us, at some point pondered over what we look like. Obviously, some people obsess over the physical more than others. Although it is true, the media ought to be blamed for turning what you wear, how you look, your weight and other physical attributes to the be all and end all, we ourselves have to take some blame for feeding into and buying this hype.
I’m not going to excuse myself and act like my weight doesn’t mean anything to me at all. It does, and funny enough, I’m about to go on a diet and exercise regime with mother dearest, which will involve a lot of cardio, proteins and fruit and veg! Now, before you start thinking… Yea, so what is she on about, if she is a part of the hype, let me explain. The world now is more superficial than it has ever been. The cases of anorexia, bulimia and other eating disorders are skyrocketing and the pressure on individuals to look a certain way is taking its toll and it’s definitely not positive. Everywhere we look, we are bombarded with magic pills, crash diets, slimming outfits and even weight loss flip flops (im actually being serious) as well as fat free, low sugar, no carbs, high fibre yummy meals! What For?Every time we look in magazines, all we see is perfection; long glossy hair, perfect skin, luscious lips, effortlessly skinny arms, no stretch marks, rock hard abs, beautiful dimples, pert bums, lean legs and all round perfection. But let’s face it, that world is not real. Hours of effects, lighting, smoke and mirrors, expertly applied make up and hype is what goes into each shot. I know it’s slightly sadist, but whenever I’m having body image problems, I google celebrities without makeup or airbrushing and guess what, they look worse than me! Acne, spots, varicose veins, stretch marks and the whole riot in full show. Let me just put it this way, the bible says, that you are fearfully and wonderfully made and God knows every hair on your head and has to give his consent before one falls of your head (or a whole load decide to leave the building when you brush it out, like mine do). Now regardless of your faith, I believe that and think it’s absolutely wonderful. If he doesn’t have a preference as to what my dress size ought to be, then I should also have the same attitude. My philosophy now is that anyone, male or female should only change the way they look because they personally want to, or it poses a danger to their health. I decided to shed a couple of pounds because I feel like I would feel better. Besides, I’m unhealthy as I am now and think a lifestyle change is in order! This is just another thought. When you dream up your ideal other… don’t think up something you aren’t. It’s unfair! Before you start building up that Adonis in your mind, better become a physical goddess… I’m just saying… So the point is, don’t change for the world, change for you. I mean, some people refused to conform and the world had to take them that way; Claudia Schiffer, Oprah Winfrey, Kimora Lee Simmons, are just a few… Besides, there is this quote I love; “Looks get the attention, attitude gets the heart”. Eventually, the way you look will fade, till what’s left to be admired is the real you.
Well, this one is specifically for the ladies, as most of my blog will tend to cater to, but the gents are welcome to enjoy! As I said earlier on, one of my passions is relationships, and by that I mean all sorts… between parents and kids, between friends, between partners, just all sorts. The most abused word in human history as far as I’m concerned, is love. People always go on about how much they “love” something or someone. I’m not going to lie; I’m also very guilty of this crime. I happen to “love” ben and jerrys ice cream, percy pigs, beyonce’s voice and a whole lot of things. But the older I get, the more I feel an importance in understanding the meaning of this word. I mean, according to the dictionary, love is many things, but I chose these three because I thought the rest was just repition with fancier words..
a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.
sexual passion or desire.
So basics, love and sex can mean the same thing? When I saw this, I have to say, it was a huge letdown. I have to admit; I kind of had an inkling but refused to face the reality. Guys don’t think like us, so, that I love you might mean, I love you right now, I live what you can do for me right now, I love your body and what it can do for me right now and so on, but that’s another topic for another day. I love all things romantic, and like most women (who like to front and act like they don’t care) I innately revel in the idea of romance; the cuddles, the soft words, the undying avowals of eternal devotion and the rest… but let’s get real, that’s not love, that’s all just lights, smoke and mirrors. What I have learnt is that when it comes down to it, love is more than feelings and sayings. Because I am a Christian, I had to go back to the bible and see what it meant from there. To God, love meant giving up his only child because we messed up, now that’s deep. Sometimes I can’t even reckon giving up some of my popcorn during a movie to my brothers, and I love them. Well I was listening to someone speak and he has given me the basis of a definition of love. It means you going the extra mile for the person, even when it hurts. It means sticking by the person when times are hard and they are grouchy and mean and indifferent to your efforts. It means support, affection, tears, pain, joy and even agony. So now, when someone says to me I love you and they mean it seriously, I take it to mean, that they will be there regardless of the situation time or place. If I lose my teeth, my hair or I’m not as physically attractive as I once was. It means we are not on some Edward and Bella/ Bonnie and Clyde/ Pocahontas and John Smith merry go round. It means that there might be pain and fighting and struggling involved but they accept it because they love me, really and truly.
This blog post might seem a bit heavy to some, but they are thoughts I had and believed I should make public. Here goes…
I love music, the fashion world as far as I can understand it, politics, my friends, reading and writing and many more other things. Recently however, I have started to place high ranking n many of these things and after thinking and evaluating, I came to the conclusion that I had unintentionally become an idolater.
What exactly do I mean? Well, the first commandment states that “I am the Lord your God…. You shall have no other gods before me”. Now I don’t have any tangible idols that I burn incense to and ask for good luck or what not, but I have without knowing from time to time, placed other things before my relationship with God. Whenever anything at all become so consuming and I begin to focus on it and take away from God, then that thing has become an idol. For many people, this may seem bizarre but it’s so common we don’t even realize. It could be money, the acquisition of wealth and power, a relationship, having fun, education (or the acquisition of wisdom), being the top in what you do EST.… It doesn’t always mean having a tiny shrine in a corner of you r house you kneel/bow to and offer incense. That’s the more obvious, easy to pick on idolatry
The moral of this short story is that if you are a Christian (a practicing one, all name only people… well good luck), you really need to be careful that your heart is in the right place.
Now I’ve said what I feel I need to say, I’m going to go away for a while
I dunno. I love several things, but I’m hoping that one day I’ll be able to say with all honesty that my bible is my favourite “inanimate” oblect. Well technically, its not inanimate but you get what I mean….